Killing Me Softly

Went I went for the Sleep Over I was amazed by the amount of ways there are to destroy yourself. As a society, it is assumed that suicide is a sudden, singular event, but I found this is not true. I found that people just did not try to kill their physical being, but also took on the task of killing their spiritual being. Sometimes the spiritual being became the primary target of destruction.

You can see spiritually destroying behavior in people around you. The promiscuous, the partiers, the risk takers. They drink too much, put themselves into large amounts of debt. Its the married man at work that is going for drinks alone with the new girl.

There was a young man I was in the psych ward with who was like me. He was bipolar but tended to run high instead of low like I did. He spent all his money, smoked doped, and drank like crazy. He had a wonderful girlfriend, but continually had unprotected sex with several partners. When he was doing these things, he knew that they were wrong. There was this hatred he held for himself that he set out to destroy what he had. You can see it in our eyes when we do it. You can see emptiness the day after.

I believe that there is a constant spiritual battle around us. There is Good and evil fighting in a continual battle for our soul. I know that this is dangerous ground to talk about it, because it becomes a defining line between the crazy and the truly crazy for some people. This judgment is fine with me. My defense is just because you cannot see it does not mean it doesn't exist.

Self-destruction is a weapon that evil uses to its favor. Evil cannot destroy you because your soul has already been bought and paid for; however, evil can convince you to destroy yourself. It can convince you to make your life on this earth as miserable as possible. If evil can get you to destroy your health, and spend your money or drink to much, then it maybe able to make you hate yourself. With that evil's can think that its battle for you can be victorious.

What evil doesn't want you to know it that it has never completely won. From every sexual encounter, every addiction there is a pathway back bought with the blood of Jesus. You are saved and you are loved by Love itself. You are created in His image. What is more esteem building than that?

You are Loved, and this makes you worthwhile. You are so loved that He has a name just for you in Heaven waiting for your arrival.

With every mistake you are already forgiven. There is always a path back from your mistakes.

The picture above is of my husbands addition to his sleeve. He wears it to remind himself of this battle for him. Sometimes the angel is on top, sometimes the demon, but ultimately Good is going to win this battle.